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KIOO CHA BLOG: SAFARI YA HANA KUELEKEA MAJIBU.

   Nakusalimu kwa Jina la Bwana wetu na Mwokozi Yesu Kristo. Amina.

   Katika kioo cha blog hii, leo tunatazama siri ya kuelekea majibu yadumuyo. Mtumishi wa Mungu Hana katika kitabu cha 1Sam ndiye KIOO chetu cha leo. Kumbuka kuwa Mungu alimfunga tumbo asizae, lakini ilikuwa ni kwa ajili ya Utukufu wake mwenyewe (MUNGU), hatimaye Bwana akamuona na kumpa uzao baada ya kumlilia sana! Hana alienda mbali zaidi ya ukawaida wa Wakristo wengi wa sasa (beyond normality).

   Nimekuwa nikijiuliza maswali mengi sana ni kwa nini tunaomba sana au tunaombewa sana lakini hatuoni matokea halisi na mabadiliko katika maisha yetu? na yakiwepo matokea kwa nini yanakuwa ni ya muda mfupi tu? Tatizo liko wapi? Je! mimi ninayeomba/kuombewa ndo nina tatizo? na je tatizo liko wapi? je! nalitambua tatizo? Majibu ya maswali haya ndio mpenyo na ufunguo wa majibu ya maombi tuombayo/uombayo.

   Wakristo wengi kama sio wote tumekuwa na tabia sugu ya uvivu na kuridhika (complacent) kwa matokeo hafifu tuyaonayo. Hatupendi kuomba, tunasubiria kuombewa; na tukiomba twaomba emotionally/kihisia sio kwa target/kulenga, hii inatufanya tuwe tegemezi.

   Hebu kwa pamoja kupitia KIOO cha blog tumtazame Hana, yumkini anayo majibu.

1Samuel 1:1-20.
   Wakristo wengi tumekuwa na tabia ya kutegemea maombi ya kuombewa na watumishi wa Mungu. Na hii ni kwa sababu tumeishia tu kutambua hitaji tulilo nalo  na sio uhitaji wa hitaji (requirements of the need).
Mfano; unahitaji Mungu akupe mume/mke, na hilo ndio hitaji lako; lakini ufanye nini ili upate hitaji lako kwa wakati na majira sahihi kutoka kwa Bwana, huo ndio uhitaji wa hitaji lako. Hapa ndipo kuna tatizo, kutambua uhitaji wa hitaji na mwisho wa siku tunaanza kupeperushwa na upepo wa huduma za maombezi(sipingani na huduma za maombezi) la hasha! Nataka Mkristo afike mahali aweze kusimama yeye kama yeye na Mungu wake kwa sababu watumishi wanaotuombea wana nafasi yao, Mungu naye ana nafasi yake na sisi tuna nafasi zetu ili Mungu atende(we must play our part). Tusiwabebeshe watumishi wa Mungu nafasi zetu/wajibu wetu kwa Mungu wetu, nasi tutapona.
Nataka nikuambie, usipotambua nafasi yako, na uhitaji wa hitaji lako utawekewa mikono, miguu na mwisho wa siku utafanyiwa maombi yanayoambatana na kupigwa makofi lakini hutaona badiliko lolote kwa maisha yako. Tatizo ulilo nalo lisikufanye uwe yatima wakati unaye Baba anayekujali, badilika sasa na badilisha mfumo wako wa maombi.

Mstari wa 4-5
   Eli anaonesha kumpenda sana Hana hata kumpa sehemu mara mbili kwa ajili ya dhabihu. Eli hakutambua uzito/uhitaji wa hitaji la Hana mkewe.

Mstari wa 8.  Tunaona Eli akimfariji Hana kwa maneno mazuri sana akisema; Je! mimi si bora kwako kuliko watoto kumi? Ni kweli ametumia lugha nzuri inayoonesha kujali/kupenda na kuthamini akimaanisha kuwa nakupenda hata kama huna mtoto, pamoja na lugha zote na matendo yote yaliyoonesha Eli kumpenda Hana vile alivyo bado haikuweza kugusa tatizo la Hana. Ukweli ulibaki pale pale kuwa Hana bado hana uwezo wa kuzaa.

   Mwisho wa siku Hana anafunguka, moyo wake ulijaa huzuni, macho yake yalijaa machozi hata asiweze kula, alikuwa na uchungu rohoni mwake. Faraja kutoka kwa Eli, kuhani haikumsaidia kitu, ilikuwa ni faraja ya muda tena inawezekana Eli, kuhani alithubutu hata kumwekea mikono na kuomba pamoja naye lakini bado jibu halikutokea/lilifichwa.
Hatimaye Hana akatambua kuwa hakuna majibu kwa mwanadamu wala kwa mumewe, wala kwa fedha, mali na utajiri wao.

   Hana hakutaka tena kulialia mbele za watu wala hakutaka faraja ya mwanadamu, ndipo alipoamua kuinuka akamwacha Eli kuhani na kuingia hekaluni peke yake mahali ambapo mchungaji hakuwepo wala mtume, wala nabii, wala kwaya, wala praise and worship team haikuwepo bali alikutana na UWEPO wa mzee wa siku Mungu Jehovah ndilo Jina lake. Mstari wa 9-10. Biblia inasema kuwa Hana alimuomba Bwana huku akilia sana.
Hebu tujifunze kumtafuta Mungu na uwepo wake mana ndiko kuliko na majibu yetu. Hana akaeleza uhitaji wake mbele za BWANA.

   Inawezekana unapita katika nyakati ambazo kila akutazamaye anakuona duni, si kitu, haufai, unadharauliwa; Lakini usife moyo huo sio mwisho wa maisha yako. Tambua uhitaji wa hitaji lako, ingia nyuani mwa Bwana, mimina roho yako mbele zake, Hakika utatoka hapo ulipo na hutakuwa kama ulivyo leo.Kataa upepo wa kukimbilia maombezi kila mahali unaposikia kuna maombezi, jifunze kufanya sehemu yako kwanza. Hana akamjibu Eli, kuhani ''Usimdhanie mjakazi wako kuwa ni mwanamke asiyefaa kittu'' haya ni maneno ya kuchoshwa na hali aliyokuwa anapitia.
 
   Baada ya maombi mazito ya ufunuo, Hana alitoka hekaluni (uweponi mwa Mungu) akiwa na furaha tele na amani wala uso wake haukukunjamana tena maana aliingia hekaluni akiwa na roho ya uchungu huku akilia sana na uso wake ulikunjamana sana tena hakuweza kula chakula, lakini hali yake ilibadilika baada ya kukutana na Rehema za Bwana hekaluni. Furaha ikarejea na amani akaweza kula chakula maana kabla ya hapo chakula kilikuwa hakishuki! Mstari wa 18.
Uwepo wa Mungu hubadilisha maisha ya mtu rohoni na mwilini na kumfanya kuwa mtu mpya tena humuondolea aibu.
   Hitaji la hana lilikuwa ni kupata mtoto tena mtoto mume; na uhitaji wa hitaji lake ulikuwa ni kutafuta na kukaa uweponi mwa BWANA na kumimina roho yake/hitaji lake , kuwasilisha haja yake kwa Bwana na sio kwa wanadamu ambao leo wapo kesho hawapo, leo wanakuchekea kesho wanakung'ong'a na kukusemea mabaya.


HITIMISHO:
Majibu ya Hana yalitokana na yeye kutambua nafasi yake na kuingia katika utendaji kiuhalisia.

Je! tatizo ulilo nalo limekufanya uonekane duni, usiyefaa, si kitu si lolote, hata jamii inayokuzunguka imekukatia tamaa na kukudharau; au ndoa ya iko hatarini (ICU) kwa sababu huzai hata mume amekuwa na nyumba ndogo.

TAMBUA NAFASI YAKO, SIMAMA NA MUNGU, kama alivyomtokea Hana atakutokea na wewe leo kwa jina la Yesu Kristo wa Nazareth Mwana wa Mungu Aliye Hai.


   Bwana Yesu, kwa utukufu wa jina lako takatifu na kwa Damu yako ya thamani; nakusihi/naomba roho ya ufufuo kwa ndugu yangu huyu ambaye anafuatilia KIOO cha blog hii, kutana na uhitaji wa hitaji lake kwa jina lako Yesu. Kila mara anyoshapo mikono yake kuelekea hekaluni mwako/madhabahuni pako naomba umsikie na kumtendea muujiza zaidi ya vile ulivyotenda kwa mtumishi wako shujaa HANA. Na kila aitiapo msaada wako Eeh BWANA ukashuke na kumsaidia, zaidi sana macho ya moyo wake yatiwe nuru yapate kuona maajabu yatokayo katika sheria yako ambayo ni Neno lako, pia ukampe neema ya kutambua uhitaji wa hitaji lake pale apitiapo nyakati ngumu au mazingira yeyote yale na akawe mwanafunzi mwaminifu katika hali zote anazozipitia au atakazozipitia katika maisha yake. Mpe neema ya kipekee kuvuka ng'ambo ya bahari/ng'ambo ya ufahamu alio nao sasa apate kukujua zaidi na kukufuata wewe peke yako. Mpe kuitambua nafasi yake na kile anapaswa kuwajibika kwacho.
   Kwa Jina La Yesu Kristo, nimeomba na kuamini kuwa ndugu yangu huyu amepokea na ya kuwa hakika hutamwacha hata nukta moja. AMINA!



















Kwa Msaada zaidi au Maoni wasiliana:

+255659 700 002
+255756145 417
mdeejunior@gmail.com
@mdee_junior (twitter)
mdee.junior (skype)

DREAM BIG AS YOU GROW BIG!





 





2013 ACHILIA KILA KITU KWA BWANA; 'SURRENDER YOUR PERSONALITY AND IDENTITY TO GOD'


   Mdee, mtumwa wa Mungu, na mtume wa Yesu Kristo; kwa ajili ya Imani ya wateule wa Mungu (yaani wasomaji wa Blog hii), na ujuzi wa kweli ile iletayo utauwa; katika tumaini la uzima wa milele, ambao Mungu asiyeweza kusema uongo aliuahidi tangu milele; akalifunua neno lake kwa majira yake katika ule ujumbe niliowekewa amana mimi kwa amri ya Mwokozi wetu Mungu; kwa msomaji wangu, mteule hasa katika imani tuishirikiyo. Neema na iwe kwako na amani zitokazo kwa Mungu Baba na kwa Kristo Yesu Mwokozi wetu.

   Kwa sababu hii nalikuandikia ujumbe huu wa mwaka 2013 upate kujitambua wewe binafsi na kile unachomiliki. Na huu ndio ujumbe wa Bwana kwako.

UNA NIIN MKONONI MWAKO?

Kutoka 4:1-10, 20
...BWANA akamwambia, Ni nini hiyo uliyo nayo mkononi mwako? Akasema, Ni fimbo....
...Na Musa akaichukua ile fimbo ya Mungu mkononi mwake.

   Baada ya Musa kumlilia sana Mungu, Mungu alimwambia una nini mkononi mwako?
Kuna mambo kadha wa kadha tunayoweza kujifunza kutoka kwa Musa.
i> Fimbo ilikuwa inamaanisha nini kwa Musa
ii> Fimbo inamaanisha nini katika maisha yetu leo.

  Fimbo ya Musa ilikuwa ni zaidi ya fimbo. Iliwakilisha maisha (personality) na utambulisho (identity) yake. Fimbo ilimtambulisha Musa kuwa alikuwa anamiliki kitu gani, Lakini Mungu anamwambia itupe fimbo chini (Surrender) yaani Mungu alikuwa anamwambia Musa kwa lugha ya fumbo ayaachilie maisha yake kwa Mungu (na hii ni kuthibitisha kuwa fimbo iliwakilisha maisha ya Musa), na alipofanya hivyo Mungu aliyabadilisha maisha yake.

   Mpango wa Mungu na maisha yetu unaweza kucheleweshwa lakini hauwezi kuondolewa/kupotezwa. Kilicho cha Mungu > Hakuna ambacho Mungu anaweza kupoteza katika maisha ya mtu...''Rejea miaka 40 ya Musa Jangwani akichunga.
Chochote alicho nacho mtu yeyote kiwe chanya au hasi hakiwezi kuwa na maana kama hajakikabidhi kwa Mungu.

   Upande wa pili wa maisha ya Musa, fimbo iliwakilisha matatizo aliyopitia (life back ground); inamkumbusha matatizo aliyowahi kupitia. Kwenye maisha usifike mahali ukajiona si kitu, usitazame mazingira unayopitia kwa sababu mazingira yanabadilika, bali mtazame Mungu kwa sababu yeye habadiliki.
   Fimbo iliwakilisha uwezo uliokuwa ndani ya Musa ambao haujatumika bado ( Unused Potential).
Usijiangalie na kujitafsiri kama watu wakuangaliavyo na kukutafsiri.

Mstari wa 20. Musa anatoka ukimbizini baada ya kusalimisha vitu vyake kwa Mungu. Kumbe tunapokuwa tumekumbatia vitu vyetu/haki zetu wenyewe tunakuwa tunaishi ukimbizini mahali pasipo na uhuru wa kweli, ni  sawa na kuishi utumwani katika nchi yako mwenyewe.

Musa akaichukua ile fimbo ya Mungu mikononi mwake. Hapa tunaona kuwa kabla ya hapo ile fimbo iliitwa fimbo ya Musa; Lakini baada ya kusalimishwa kwa Mungu ile fimbo ilibadilishwa jina ikaitwa FIMBO YA MUNGU hadi leo.
Vivyo hivyo tutakapoyasalimisha maisha yetu/kazi zetu/biashara zetu/watoto wetu/familia zetu/afya zetu na kila kitu kinachohusiana na maisha yetu ndipo vitakapobadilishwa majina kutoka kuwa vitu vyetu na kuwa VITU VYA MUNGU. Paulo mtume anadhihirisha hili pale anaposema; ''Si mimi niishiye bali Kristo ndani yangu'' inaonesha jinsi ambavyo alikuwa ameyasalimisha maisha yake kwa Kristo Yesu (Total Surrender).

   Ni mpaka tumeachilia kile tulicho nacho ndipo Mungu atadhihirisha utukufu wake na kukipa uhai. Fimbo ilifanywa kuwa HAI. Hatutafuti kitu kipya ili Mungu atende bali kile kile cha siku zote, na unapokikabidhi haimaanishi Mungu atakunyang'anya la hasha; ndio maana Musa aliendelea kuitumia ile FIMBO.

SWALI NAKUULIZA:

Una nini mkononi mwako ambacho hujakisalimisha kwa Mungu?
Jihoji, halafu salimisha leo kipate kupewa uhai wa Ki-Mungu sasa, na 2013 utakuwa mwaka wako wa kuhuishwa katika kila eneo la maisha yako. Kubali sasa Mungu aanze na wewe, na wewe uanze na Mungu.

Nakutakia kila la kheri katika mwaka huu, maisha yako na kila kinachohusiana na maisha yako kikageuzwe kuwa HAI tena katika Jina La Yesu Kristo wa Nazareth Aliye Hai.

   Salamu zangu mimi Mdee, kwa mkono wangu mwenyewe. Hii ndiyo alama katika kila waraka, ndio mwandiko wangu. Neema ya Bwana wetu Yesu Kristo na iwe pamoja nanyi nyote. Halleluyah!


Mawasiliano:

+255659 700 002
+255756 145 417
mdeejunior@gmail.com
@mdee_junior (twitter)
mdee.junior (skype)

Dream Big As You Grow Big.


IBADA YA JUMAPILI YA MWISHO - 2012 KATIKA KANISA LA EBENEZER (IPHC), TABATA SEGEREA CHINI YA BISHOP KUNDAEL MREMA.

Ebenezer ( International Pentecostal Holiness Church_IPHC) ni huduma inayoongozwa na Mmissionary, Dr, Bishop Kundael Mrema na ni kiongozi kitaifa. Makao makuu ya huduma hii kwa hapa Tanzania yapo Tabata Segerea, ikiwa na matawi Kilimanjaro, Namanga mkoani Arusha, Mbeya, Iringa, Kilosa Morogoro, Mwanza etc.


Ibada ya leo tar. 30/12/2012 ikiwa ndio jumapili ya mwisho ya mwaka 2012 iliongozwa na Bishop Kundael Mrema. Katika ibada hii mambo makuu matatu yalifanyika.
1. Mahubiri _ Bishop alihubiri.
Neno la msingi lilitoka katika kitabu cha Waefeso 1:15-18
Katika mahubiri yake moja ya vitu alivyosisitiza alisema, namnukuu;  Ili uwe na uwezo kuwa na furaha ya kweli wakati wa majaribu/mateso/shida/dhiki n.k. ni lazima UWE NA UFAHAMU juu ya kile unachokiendea/unachokipitia yaani macho ya moyo wako yatiwe nuru upate kulijua kusudi la Mungu, mwisho wa kunukuu!

Pia katika hali ya kusimamia lile kusudi la mwito wake ambalo kwa hilo Mungu alimuita, alisema; namnukuu:
Mungu ameniita kusimamia mambo makuu mawili kwa kanisa lake.
i> Neno
ii> Kumtolea Mungu ( 2Kor. 9:6-8)
Alisema, Ukiwa na mali/utajiri bila neno ni tatizo kubwa sana, lakini ukiwa na Neno pamoja na vyote Mungu alivyokubarikia ni hakika kwamba utautawala utajiri/fedha ulizo nazo na hutatawaliwa navyo.



 2. Katika ibada hii pia kulikuwa na ibada ya meza ya Bwana.





















 3. Kulikuwa na keki kwa ajili ya wale wote waliozaliwa mwezi Desemba.
            NA HII NDIO KEKI YENYEWE!


HAWA HAPA NI MIONGONI MWA WALE WALIOZALIWA DESEMBA.








Mzee wa kanisa Lukumay(kushoto) na Captain Ntanga (kulia)















Baraka (mch. mtarajiwa)









Blogger (kushoto) akiwa na mwanadada Vick Mallesa (kulia)

Ebenezer ni moto, Ebenezer ni hai,
Long Live Ebenezer (IPH) Church.























NAWATAKIA HERI YA MWAKA MPYA 2013.

Dream Big, Grow Big.
+255659 700 002
+255756 145 417
mdeejunior@gmail.com
@mdee_junior (Twitter)

WATCHMAN NEE - A Seer of the Divine Revelation in the Present Age.

   From a biography of Watchman Nee, A seer of the Divine Revelation in the present age.

   Nakumbuka mara ya kwanza kabisa kusoma hii historia ya huyu mtumishi wa Mungu WATCHMAN NEE ilikuwa ni mwaka 2002, Nililia sana, kila nilipokuwa narudia kusoma macho hayakuacha kugubikwa na machozi. Ni neema ya kipekee aliyokuwa nayo mtu huyu na kila nikijaribu kujitathmini na mimi mwenyewe honestly speeking nisingaliweza isipokuwa kwa NEEMA ya BWANA YESU pekee.
Historia hii imeandikwa kwa lugha ya kigeni, Lakini hata hivyo nataka nikushirikishe upate kuona nini kilitokea halafu linganisha na kizazi tulicho nacho sasa kama kanisa....
JE! WEWE UNGEWEZA? Hili ni swali ambalo natamani mwishoni kabisa baada ya kusoma historia hii ya kweli kabisa UJIHOJI, UWE NA WAKATI WA UKIMYA MBELE ZA BWANA(Quiet Time), kisha unijibu sawa sawa na vile ROHO MTAKATIFU atakavyokushuhudia ndani ya moyo wako kwa neema yake mwenyewe, NA NINI MTAZAMO WAKO KWA KANISA LA SASA?

NAOMBA TUFUATANE PAMOJA SASA.

THE SUFFERINGS OF WATCHMAN NEE.

   Watchman Nee endured much suffering for the sake of his ministry. He was absolute in following the Lord and faithful in fulfilling his commission. Because of his faithfulness and absoluteness, he was continually mistreated and underwent many hardships. Because he continually fought the battle for the Lord's recovery, he was continually under attack from the enemy. At the same time, he was also under God's sovereign hand. The sovereign arrangements of God in his environment were also a source of trouble and a means by which God dealt with him. For these two reasons, he lived a life of suffering. For the most part his sufferings came from the following sources:

I. POVERTY

   In the early years of Watchman Nee's ministry, the economic situation in China was very difficult. Still, he was enlightened to the extent that he was able to fulfill the Lord's calling by serving Him entirely by faith. The light he received made it impossible for him to work as an employee for anyone: not for a mission, denomination, so-called church, or individual. Because of what he saw, he was exercised to live purely and singly by faith in God. In those days, this was not an easy way. In that kind of financial situation, he came to learn what poverty was. In the early days of his ministry in Shanghai, there were times when he had nothing to eat but a little bread.

II. ILL HEALTH.

   Brother Nee also suffered frequent ill health. He began his ministry before 1923 and was not married until 1934. There was a period of eleven years when he had no wife to help him. During those years he lived  by himself. It was during this period that he became afflicted with tuberculosis of the lungs and suffered for several years from this desease.

   He was also afflicted with a stomach illness and with a heart ailment called angina pectoris. He was never cured of the heart desease. He told me that a number of times before a conference meeting he was forced to lie on his bed until the time arrived to minister. Only then would he rise up. Immediately after speeking, he would return to bed.

   Because of his ill health, Watchman learned how to be greatly dependent upon the Lord. He learned how to live by Resurrection life in order to meet his physical needs. Many times he ministered not by physical strength but by Resurrection life.

The following excerpts from his open letters in The Christian and in The Present Testimony give a picture of his ill health and the spiritual lessons he learned through it. The following letter is from the December 1927 issue of The Christian, Volume 2, Number 12:

     When this issue reaches you, it will be the end of the year. Looking over the past year, we really thank      
     Him for the way He has blessed us, led us, taught us, supplied us, urged us, healed us, rebuked us, 
     chastened us, and disciplined us. Praise the Lord,

     On my heart! Again considering ourselves in this past year as being so defiled, defeated, head-strong
     (willful), rebelious, ungracious, unrighteous, lacking, and wrongful, we feel thoroughly discontented with 
     ourselves. How we wish that these dark spots were not part of the history of our life. But wishing is 
     wishing; still we are defeated. What a pity! Nevertheless, knowing our condition only convinces us more 
     that our flesh is incurable and causes us to loudly sing praises to the Lord, for in such defeat. He is still so 
     gracious to us. O Lord! How can we forget your grace?

     It seems that my ill health during this past year was known far and wide. In three localities it was even 
     rumored that my earthly tabernacle had been destroyed. For this reason there were increased prayers for 
     me more than ever before. I greatly appreciate those who care for my physical welfare. In the past days
     my natural strength has been much weakened. Even light activity causes my body to feel its burden. But
     praise the Lord that this year was still filled with many days of work. Instead of resting and getting rusty, 
     why not labor and trust? The strength of promise in time of need is never decreased. For this fact I cannot
     but praise the Lord.

     The scarcity of fruit, the emptiness of life, the staleness of the spirit, and the weakness of the body are
     each enough to make me feel ashamed. That all things work together for good to them that love God is 
     true and trustworthy. In my situation these words again have become so real.

III. DENOMINATIONS.

Opposition from the denominations was a third source of Watchman Nee's suffering. He was an anti-testimony against them, and because of this it caused him much suffering.

A. Despised.

The denominations thoroughly despised Watchman Nee, and this caused him a great deal of suffering. He began writing  the three volumes of The Spiritual Man at the age of twenty-three. One top theologian in China reacted by saying, ''Watchman Nee is just a clever young man who has excelled in reading English books. He has gathered all these things from the books and translated them into Chinese.'' Sometimes being despised cuts more deeply than being criticized. At that time Hebrews 13:13 was very real and applicable to Watchman and to others as well: ''Let us therefore go forth unto Him outside the camp, bearing His reproach.'' Watchman and those with him fully followed this word to bear the reproach of Christ outside the camp of organized Christianity. That reproach was actually the experience of the cross.

B. Criticized.

Along with being despised, Watchman was also severely criticized by the denominations. Even though they despised him, Watchman Nee was accomplishing something; when this became evident, they began to publicly criticize  him. In his paper, The Christian, published from 1925 through 1927, he strongly exposed the deviation of the denominations from the pure truths of the Scriptures. They could do nothing but criticize him. They put out many writings criticizing his ministry.

C. Opposition

On the heels of the criticism came the opposition. Such a ministry to God's people as Watchman Nee's stirred up the opposition of the denominations, and they rose up to oppose him. They opposed him secretly and openly. Some preachers opposed him from their pulpit, publicly warning their congregations against him.

IV. OTHERS

A. False Condemnation and Imprisonment.

Watchman Nee was arrested in March 1952. He was judged, falsely condemned, and sentenced to fifteen years imprisonment in 1956. He died in confinement on May 30, 1972. There is no way to know what he experienced of the Lord during this long imprisonment. The following eight letters were written at the end of his confinement in his own hand writing and are the only means through which we can see a small glimpse of his suffering, feeling, and expectation during his confinement.

Letter One.

     April 22, 1972
     Eldest Sister Pin-cheng

     I received your letter on April 7, and found that you had not received my letter. in which i notified you 
     that the things you sent me every time have been received. All the things you mentioned in your letter
     I have received. I am very grateful to you.

     You know my physical condition is chronic, an illness of the organ itself. When it is activated I suffer 
     much., but even when it is latent, it is still present with me. The difference is whether or not it is activated.
     Summer is here, and although more exposure to the sun can alter a little the color of my skin, it can not 
     change the illness. However, I maintain my joy, so please do not worry. I hope you will also take care of 
     yourself and be filled with joy in your heart.

     I wish you well.
     Shu-shu

Watchman wrote this letter to his sister in law, who was his wife's oldest sister and whom he addressed in the letter as ''eldest sister.''

This sister lived in Peking and was away from Mrs. Nee for about twenty years. In 1971 Mrs Nee fell from a stool and broke two ribs. Because of this fall, Mrs. Nee's high blood pressure increased, and this caused her death. Due to this great loss, the eldest sister felt it necessary after Mrs. Nee's death to stay and take care of Watchman and to send him the things he needed. ''The things you sent me every time'' refer to this.

''When it(the chronic ailment') is activated i suffer much'' and ''it (more exposure to the sun'') cannot change the illness'' indicate that he was still suffering from his illness.

''However, I maintain my joy'' indicates that he was practicing the word of the apostle Paul in Philippians 4:4 ''Rejoice in the Lord always.'' ''Be filled with joy in your heart'' indicates that he not only rejoiced in the Lord Himself but also encouraged his sister-in-law to be filled with the joy of the Lord. Both of these words show us that while he was suffering his imprisonment, he trusted in the Lord and had much fellowship with the Lord. He was like the apostle, who while, suffering imprisonment, rejoiced in the Lord and encouraged his readers to also rejoiced in the Lord ( Phil. 2:17-18). In his letter he did not quote anything from Scriptures, indicating that he had no freedom to do so. This letter was dated April 22, 1972, thirty-eight days before he passed away. He signed this letter with his name Shu-tsu, which was commonly used among his relatives.

In all of the above letters, there is no mention of the name of the Lord or of God. This indicates that he did not have the freedom to do so.

Letter Eight

     May 30, 1972
     Eldest Sister Pin-cheng,

     I have been reassigned to Shan-Shia-Pu Group No. 14. It is ten (Chinese) miles away from the station 
     and is separated from it by a mountain. It is very inconvenient for you to come. You do not need to come 
     anymore.

     In my sickness, I still remain joyful at heart. Please do not worry. I am still doing my best to not allow 
     myself to be grieved by my own illness.

     Pin-whei's(his wife's) ashes will be left to your care. I am trusting in you for everything. I give my consent
     to everything.

     This letter is short, yet my feelings run deep. I can only wish you well.

     Shu-tsu


This was the last letter of Watchman Nee. It shows that the farm in which he died was quite remote, being ten Chinese miles from the station and separated from the station by a mountain. The fact that he had changed his mind and no longer wanted his sister-in-law to visit him and the fact that he had left the care of his wife's ashes to his sister-in-law, seem to indicate that he had sensed his imminent death. He died the same day.

B. Death and Humiliation.

There is no way to trace the cause of Watchman's death. However, at his departure not one relative, brother, or sister was with him. Humanly speaking, what a miserable and humiliating way to die. There was no proper notification of his death and no funeral. He was cremated on June 1, 1972. Only the eldest sister of Mrs. Nee was informed of his death and cremation on June 1, 1972. It was she who picked up the ashes and gave them to Watchman's nephew-in-law. He in turn buried the ashes with those of Mrs. Nee in his home town of Kwanchao in the country of Haining, Chekiang province.

The following is an account by Brother Nee's grandniece, who accompanied Mrs. Nee's eldest sister at the time  when Brother Nee's ashes were picked up:

''In June 1972, we got a notice from the labor farm that my granduncle had passed away. My eldest grandaunt and I rushed to the labor farm. But when we got there, we learned that he had already been cremated. We could only see his ashes... Before his departure, he left a piece of paper under his pillow, which had several lines of big words written in a shaking hand. He wanted to testify to the truth which he had even until his death, with his lifelong experience. That truth is...'Christ is the Son of God who died for the redemption of sinners and resurrected after three days. This is the greatest truth in the universe. I die because of my belief in Christ. Watchman Nee.'' When the officer of the labor farm showed us this paper, I prayed that the Lord would let me quickly remember it by heart...''

''My granduncle had passed away, He was faithful until death. With a crown stained with blood, he went to be with the Lord. Although God did not fulfill his last wish, to come out alive to join his wife, the Lord prepared something even better--they were reunited before the Lord.''


Such is the way that Watchman Nee ended his time on this earth. In May 1989, after a period of seventeen years, his ashes and the ashes of Mrs. Nee were both transferred by his two nephews from Chekiang to a public cemetery in Shiangshan in the city of Soochow of Kiangsu province. They were both buried in ''The Christian Cemetery'' beside Watchman's brother, Nee Hwai-tsu, and the latter's wife.

Watchman Nee was a man of suffering. Along his pathway of following the Lamb, he suffered. Today as a result of his suffering, we have such a rich heritage in the Lord's recovery. The following two stanzas are the conclusion to Hymn #635 in our hymnal, which is on the suffering of the grapevine. These words, which he helped me arrange into singable verse in Hong Kong in 1950, summarized his entire life.

          Not by gain our life is measured,
          But by what we've lost 'ts scored;
          'Ts not how much wine is drunken,
          But how much has been outpoured.
          For the strength of love e'er standeth
          In the sacrifice we bear;
          He who has the greatest suff'ring
          Ever has the most to share.

          He who treats himself severely
          Is the best for God to gain;
          He who hurts himself most dearly
          Most can comfort those in pain.
          He who suffering never beareth
          Is but empty ''sounding brass'';
          He who self-life never spareth
          Has the joys which all surpass.

Watchman Nee realized that life is measured not by gain but by loss and that the one who has suffered the most has the most to share with others. For this reason, he never spared himself, but bore the cross and the fellowship of Christ's suffering, being conformed to His death, in order to live Christ out that others might be nourished and enriched with Him.

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Maana wokovu wa binadamu haufai.
Zaburi 108:12-13

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